Real love is always chaotic. You lose control; you lose perspective. You lose the ability to protect yourself. The greater the love, the greater the chaos. It’s a given and that’s the secret.Jonathan Carroll, White Apples (via browndresswithwhitedots)
Do you want to spend the rest of the day with this man doing nothing? Just maybe read the paper or take a walk if the weather’s nice? Hold his hand or even pinch his ass not for any sexy reason but only because you like him? Or can you imagine spending the same day inside because it’s February and snowing outside, but you’re both so content and caught up in what you’re doing that for long stretches you forget he’s there? Except at the same time you know he’s there because he adds to the small bliss of the afternoon.Jonathan Carroll, From the Teeth of Angels (via browndresswithwhitedots)
You could never really know a person until you’d learned at least one of their deepest secrets, and seen the monster which we keep hidden within and only allow to surface when we’re truly out of control, or trust someone enough to feel we can let our guard down around them and allow our honest emotion to show.Jonathan Carroll, BATHING THE LION (via browndresswithwhitedots)
All the while
a storm was
brewing above us.
Clouds, though not
heavy or dark,
gather to form
a delusional layer
of silent dispute.
Vast but short,
all thoughts will
turn to dust.
"One would realize at a certain point when it is about time to admit, and submit to any existing ugly fact, even ashamedly so. In which case, I am a desirous person.
To what extent can desires hide themselves away with such dignity and poise, and all the while the body and mind seem to have a discipline deeper than the Ocean, that it can almost control where the heart is. Close call. How can a naked truth appear with such muted shock, when it revealed itself so many times to finally become an awareness? While all this is occurring, peculiarly enough, I was quite contented without little to no struggles.”
Plants study - night view.
And for the first time, I feel like I have lost the battle to myself… On second thoughts, the whole war.
And I have been standing here for a while… Perhaps a little too long, to forget the ability of realization, or the denial of it. Because through denial, one can always pretend to be ignorant, and “follow the heart”.